What does having emetophobia entail?
Having emetophobia is very debilitating. It can impact your day to day life. It is closely tied to OCD which if you are familiar with you know is not easy.
Do you know what caused it?
I feel like many people are able to pin point a certain event but I unfortunately cannot. I feel like i’ve just always kind of had it.
What symptoms do you experience?
In moments of panic I experience nausea, fast heart rate, my breathing is heavy and sometimes my arms feel like they’ve fallen asleep. I also have some gi issues but they are not very extreme. I have lots of trouble eating, lots of lack of appetite and no hunger.
When did you first start experiencing symptoms?
My emetophobia was bad at age 11 and I lost a lot of weight. It went dormant for about 6 years and I lived my life to the fullest. Now it’s back and in full force. However, as a child anytime I would witness the act of vomiting whether it was myself or others I definitely panicked (increased heart rate, trouble breathing, and lots of tears).
Before you knew of the term “emetophobia”, how did you feel about the symptoms you experienced?
I was 11. I thought I was crazy. It’s very upsetting but at the time I was in and out of doctors and hospitals and I actually hoped they would find some sort of illness or anything just so that I knew I wasn’t crazy or making things up. I feel very guilty for thinking this way but I was only 11 and miserable.
When did you realize that you had emetophobia? How did you feel knowing that there was a word for what you had?
I realized maybe 2 years after my emetophobia episode resolved. I was about 13 and I cannot explain the relief I had. I wasn’t crazy and I wasn’t alone. It was such a great feeling knowing I wasn’t being “dramatic”.
Do you have other related conditions?
Not that I know of. I’ve done many blood tests throughout my life and they always come out fine.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much impact does emetophobia have on your life?
At the moment it’s definitely at a 9. There are some rare days where it isn’t too much but most days I’m a bit miserable.
How does emetophobia affect your day-to-day life?
I struggle eating. I’ve restricted my food intake due to a fear of getting food poisoning even though I never really experienced that before. I also don’t feel much hunger or have an appetite which just makes eating that much more difficult. I have lost so much weight and I believe i’m at an unhealthy weight now. Of course there’s also daily anxiety.
Do you tell people you have emetophobia or is that something that you hope would remain more of a secret?
There’s only a handful of people that know. I’m definitely embarrassed especially as I’m a teen. I feel like i should be out enjoying my youthful years but i just feel stuck. I fear others would make fun of me.
What is your general outlook on your condition?
I think at the moment it’s at its worst. I went years where the emetophobia was dormant and I was so happy. I feel very down and miserable nowadays and it’s all because of the phobia.
Have there been instances where people disregarded or didn’t take your phobia seriously? Did that take a toll on you? How did/do you deal with it?
I feel like when you initially tell people they definitely disregard it. It isn’t until it really starts taking over your life where people kind of realize how serious it is. I think someone very important doesn’t take it seriously and it feels humiliating. I feel very judged and like there is something wrong with me. I often try not to think about it but it definitely affects me more than I would like it to.
Have you had any treatment to help? How effective are they?
I am in exposure therapy. It was going okay but this sudden weight loss began to concern me more than anything so I’m taking a brief pause and just trying to gain weight again before I try anything else.
Do you have/plan to have kids? If you have kids, how does that influence your experience with emetophobia? If you don’t have kids or plan to, are your reasons related to your emetophobia?
I love babies. But the way this phobia has a hold on me is concerning and i’ve definitely thought that having kids was probably not the right move. I’m still young however so hopefully I can become stronger and be able to manage the emetophobia better and be able to have children in the far future.
Is there anything that having emetophobia has prevented you from doing that you really wish you could do?
It has prevented me from going to many parties. I’m a teen and overall just hanging out with friends is difficult. There’s a lot of things I’ve denied due to the phobia.
Does emetophobia affect your mental health?
Yes definitely. I feel trapped at home. I don’t like going out in fear of being exposed to any potential illness. It has taken a toll on my mental health these past months.
How did/does emetophobia affect your education?
It was never prevalent at school until a couple months ago when it decided to come back full force. I definitely value my education. I love school and learning. However it’s been very difficult as I have experienced panic attacks during class. I think that’s the worst thing this phobia has done to me. Not allowing me to be focused at school.
How does emetophobia affect other aspects of your life?
I tend to want to be in my room all the time. It has become a safe place. It’s difficult leaving my room let alone my house. My entire family has noted my avoidance and they’ve become concerned. I hate how worried they are. I can see how concerned they are and I just wish things weren’t that way.
What are misconceptions about emetophobia?
It isn’t just a little fear. It’s a phobia and there is a huge difference. This phobia can take over your life and it isn’t fun.
What do you find is the biggest challenge of living with emetophobia?
The biggest challenge is definitely the eating. There’s so much fear around food for me (fear of food poison but overall just a lack of appetite/hunger) It’s so difficult because I’m actually very petite so weight loss is very noticeable. It’s taken a toll on my self esteem.
What are some “silly” things that your emetophobia has made you do, or some situations you have been in due to your emetophobia?
I have ran out of a room after someone threw up multiple times. I also have eaten with napkins just to avoid touching food with unwashed hands in public…
What are your fears that stem from having emetophobia?
Fear of food poisoning and a slight fear of children just because they’re unpredictable and are unaware of bodily sensations lol. also of course fear of catching any illness that could potentially make you throw up.
What are things to NOT say or do to people who have emetophobia?
just throw up or get over it.
What did your parents do right and wrong, in raising a child with emetophobia?
My parents are great. I never really showed symptoms of emetophobia until I was 11. My parents were always very understanding and patient with me. There were some times where they would get annoyed but I don’t blame them. I know how difficult it must be for them.
How do you feel about how emetophobia is portrayed in media? What are some of your favorite pieces of media with authentic representation?
I feel like nowadays I see more and more emetophobia awareness posts which make me really happy. I think tik tok has been the place where emetophobia has been talked about more and I think it’s great that people are bringing awareness on an app that is used worldwide.
What would you like to say to people who have emetophobia?
I wish they’d all find the strength in them to overcome emetophobia. There have been people who have overcame emetophobia and have reached a point where it doesn’t impact their life too much. I cant wait to get to that point. There’s so many people who are miserable living with emetophobia and it makes me really sad. I want them to know that they can overcome anything and that they’re stronger than they believe. We’ll be okay 🙂
What would you like to say to parents of people who have emetophobia?
I want to tell them to be patient. I understand it’s very difficult seeing your own child suffer but it isn’t their choice. It’s a very difficult phobia to live with so just be patient and really show up for them. Tell them you’re there for them.
What do you think society could be doing to better serve people with emetophobia?
Society will always find a problem with anything. I just wish there would be more awareness and more research to better help people with emetophobia.
Tell your story, opinions, experiences.
I remember every vomiting incident I have ever witnessed whether it be myself or others. I panic every time and immediately try to find my way out. However that was only when incidents would actually occur but I was able to live my day to day life in peace. When I was 11 the emetophobia developed badly. There was no incident that triggered it it was just sudden nausea one night but nothing happened. For the following months the nausea was daily. I was in and out of hospitals and clinics trying to find what was wrong. I refused to eat or ate very little in fear of throwing up. I cried daily and had panic attacks frequently. I was losing weight rapidly and I was told I had beginnings of anorexia and an eating disorder. I was only 11 and had no idea what those words even meant. Overtime I was able to gradually start eating again and gained my weight back and all was well for a couple of years. That was until earlier this year. Again it was just a sudden day of nausea but nothing happened. It’s been pretty much the same summer from when I was 11 except i’ve given up going to the doctors. I just know it gets better and i’m trying my best to get to that point again.