Why didn’t you have more kids?
Pregnancy and breastfeeding were hard on me.
Did you ever feel pressured to have more kids?
Somewhat.
Have you had “the talk” with your child about why they’re an only child?
Not yet
How does your child feel about being an only child?
She’s expressed lonliness. I take her to libraries and parks but I can’t find a play group anywhere that gets together regularly. I feel bad about it sometimes but I try to show her understanding and play with her more.
How’s your relationship with your child?
She’s 3 right now so she’s got her moments but we communicate clearly with each other and we are kind to each other. She’s gone from saying she loves dad the most to now she loves both of us. Your girls coming up!
What effects does having one child have on your relationship with your child? What do you think would be different if you had more kids?
I have a Sibling but we barely talk to each other. There’s no bad blood We’re just so different. I understand lonliness and I definitely want to avoid it as much as possible for her.
How would you describe your style of parenting?
If dad was mom. I’m definitely a “go make your own mistakes” style parent but before she goes out to make those mistakes she’s going to be informed on what’s out there. My dad says “be smart about your stupid.” I want her to learn from mistakes and have the freedom to make them, within reason of course. I’m not flippant about her safety.
In what ways do you think parenting one child differs from parenting multiple children?
I can’t brush her off to go play with her non existent brother. I have to do a lot more for her socially and interpersonal at this age and I don’t imagine it will change much. Especially in this day and age where sleepovers seem nonexistent now.
Are you overprotective of your child?
Protective around other people, but it would be a shame if I wrapped her up in bubble wrap and kept her from learning through play, rough or not.
How do you celebrate your child’s birthdays?
She picks her themes, we invite family and friends, so far she celebrates twice because of my husband’s family. But I imagine she’ll want another with just her friends so we might have to bump it to 3…do I spoil her?
What are your thoughts on “Only Child Syndrome”?
I think its an overstatement and odd generalization.
What are things about having multiple kids that you’re glad you don’t have to deal with?
Laundry, messes, more money on vacations, more money in general, Sibling rivalry.
What effects does having one child have on your life (career, family e.t.c)?
I worry a lot but I think most parents do. I want the best for her and sometimes I lose sleep wondering if I’m doing right by her. I watch YouTube videos and read forums for only kids and take notes for what I should and shouldn’t do. I hope I get it right.
What are the most annoying things that people have said to you about having one child?
That I’m not a real parent because I only have the one child. And that she’ll be resentful because I didn’t give her a sibling.
How do you deal with unsolicited/annoying comments from people?
Roll my eyes or awkward laugh
What are things to NOT say to parents with one child?
That their child must be sad or lonely. It makes me feel like I’ll never be able to do enough for her.
What are your fears that stem from having one child?
That I’ll lose her. That she’ll not love me. That she’ll be lonely forever.
What are disadvantages of having one child?
None so far
What are advantages of having one child?
Better vacations, and I get to focus on her and figure out who the little Rockstar is becoming.
What would you like to say to parents of only children?
Please for the love of whatever you believe in start some play groups I beg of you! I’m about to start one myself but I haven’t gotten anyone to join!
What would you like to say to only children?
I hope your voice is heard, your arms filled with hugs, your laughter unhindered, and your friends are quality.
How do you feel about how one child families are portrayed in media?What are your favorite pieces of media with authentic representation?
I can not think of a single one actually but I also don’t watch a lot of shows. I hope it’s good but let’s be honest, it probably isn’t.
What’s your general outlook on having one child?
Positive
Tell your story, opinions, experiences.
In these 3 short years so far she continues to be my world. She is smart, kind, and very talented. She’s curious and open about how she feels. I hope I can continue to solve some of her problems (not all, she needs to learn). It is an honor being her mommy. It will be an even bigger honor if I get to be her friend when she’s flown the coop.