What does being asexual mean to you?
Not having sexual attraction or the desire to be sexual with someone.,
How do you identify within the spectrum?
demisexual or greyace
What is your romantic orientation?
aromantic
Do you like being commonly called “ace”?
I’d prefer ace rather than asexual
Do you experience sexual attraction?
no
What is intimacy to you?
having a deep emotional connection
What’s your outlook on love and sex?
I think people can be in love and have been at one point in life. Sex, speaking for myself is more about pleasing my loved one and wanting to make them feel good.
Do you experience sexual arousal/ masturbate?
yes I masturbate. more of a stress relief thing though.
How do you feel about people being sexually attracted to you?
I have no problem with it.
What are your thoughts on the “A” in LGBTQIA+ often standing for “ally” instead of “asexual”?
Does not matter to me
Do you have an ace ring? What does an ace ring mean to you?
I do not. I have to need to display something like that openly to others
Respond to the phrase “Maybe you just haven’t had good sex yet”
I have had good sex. Being asexual is more than just not wanting sex though in my opinion.
Are you monogamous or non-monogamous?
monogamous
How does your experience of asexuality relate to your gender?
I feel like I am the complete opposite of what is expected of me as a 22 year old male. Sometimes I wonder if something is just messed up with me and question why am I not as into to pursuing sex as much as my peers around me.
How did you first discover asexuality?
Heard it from my ex girlfriend I think.
How did you come to realise that you were asexual?
After almost 2 years of not sleeping with anyone or having any sort of desire to be with someone sexually. Not only that but not having urges I would think I am supposed to be having. I figured I just needed time to move on from my past relationship but the feeling of sexual attraction has not returned. I also felt it was gone at times while with said ex.
How often do you have doubts about being asexual?
Somewhat often.
How long have you identified as asexual?
maybe 6 months
Have societal pressures ever made you question your own sexual desires or lack of it?
yes all the time. I can be difficult at times to feel valid or express myself about my own sexuality without being shut down or told I just don’t get it or haven’t met the right person yet.
Why do you think it’s difficult for some people to grasp the concept of asexuality?
Because they do not relate as much I guess?
How did you start to come to terms with your asexuality?
Still coming to terms with it to be honest
What was the moment where you fully came to terms with your asexuality?
n/a
Has your understanding of asexuality shifted since you first learned about it?
Very much so. Educating myself on the topic has enabled me to gain a better understanding of the Asexual spectrum and has helped me to better align myself with where I believe I fit in the best. As well as try to educate others about what it actually means to be Asexual.
What are things about asexuality you wish people understood better?
That It’s not just a big no to sex. For some people it is no sex, not everyone though.
Have you come out as asexual? If yes, how did you come out?
Kinda sorta
What is dating and finding a romantic partner like?
very difficult I avoid it for the most part at this point in my life.
What are your thoughts on dating apps?
I do not enjoy using them and have not had much success finding a good match thus far.
How has being asexual affected your relationships?
I think it did. I cannot confirm with the other person at this point but In my opinion it did.
Have you been romantically involved with people who aren’t asexual?
yes
Do you prefer to be romantically involved with fellow asexuals?
I would like that
How do you feel about society over-sexualizing almost everything?
It angers me at times and have a hard time believing that so many people think about sex as often as the media portrays.
What are your thoughts on having kids? Do you plan to have kids someday?
Not for or against it.
Do you consider yourself to be part of the LGBTQIA+ community?
I question whether or not the Asexual community is welcome
Are you religious? If so, how does your faith and queerness work together?
no
How do you think your experiences through life may or may not have influenced/shaped your asexuality?
no
How do you feel about how asexuality is perceived in the LGBTQIA+ community?
I think some people are very welcoming of it while others are a little gatekeepy
Have you experienced discrimination in the LGBTQIA+ community?
no
Have you ever been to a pride parade? How did it go?
no
Do you agree that pride month is necessary?
I think its a good thing. not sure if I’d say necessary. I think it would be much better if people were just accepting of everyone for all 12 months
What are your thoughts on labels?
I don’t mind if others like/want to use them. I do not like using labels openly to others.
How do you feel about representation of asexuality in media?
There’s a lack of it. I’d rather see less emphasis on sex rather than just trying to force asexual ideas on people
What’d you like to say to people who question asexuality as a sexual orientation?
Try to be a little more open minded. Perhaps take a bit of time to try and educate yourself a bit on the topic and put yourself in someone elses shoes for once.
What effects does being asexual have on your life?
I think it can effect you negatively if you let it. Just depends on your mindset.
How do you deal with people who are curious about your sexuality?
I have no problem answering questions for someone who is genuinely interested and wants to learn more to better themselves.
How do you deal with aphobia?
I ignore it.
What was the most difficult moment in your life surrounding being asexual?
I fear that I haven’t experienced it yet.
What stereotypes about asexuality do you not relate to?
That we do not have sex at all or hate sex, for some that is true but definitely not everyone.
What are the most annoying things people have said to you about asexuality?
That we all don’t have sex. The whole community.
What are things to NOT say to an asexual person?
You just haven’t met the right person yet. ” I can help you with that”.
What would you like to say to anyone who is asexual or wondering if they’re on the asexual spectrum?
Don’t let anyone tell you that your feelings aren’t valid.
How involved would you say you are with the asexual community?
Somewhat.
What are things you love about being asexual, or being part of the asexual community?
I feel better knowing that there are other people out there that I can relate with.
How often do you meet other asexual people?
Never met another that I know of.
How do you recognise other asexual people irl?
You usually don’t.
How do you meet and connect with fellow asexuals?
I have no way to do it that I know of
Do you think sexuality , romantic attraction and gender identity are things that people are born with, influenced by upbringing, or both?
I think a lot of it is born with but for sure life and upbringing most likely plays a role
What’s it like being queer in your country/society?
It’s fine
How have you been subjected to queerphobia?
no
What would you like to say to queerphobic people?
I hope in the future you can look back to realize that you were making an ass of yourself.
How can people be better allies to asexual people?
educate yourself on the topic