What does being agender mean to you?
For me, being agender feels like not being able to comprehend the feeling of gender.
What are your thoughts on the concept of gender?
I think the world would be a better place without it. Gender isn’t really usefull for anything, but has kept a prevalent place in society. All its existence does is enable oppression. I think we shouldn’t “ban gender” or something like that, but start by making things like bathrooms, products and jobs non-gendered
Have you ever doubted the existence of gender?
Gender exists in the same way countries do. It’s made up, but not fake.
Do you think society as a whole would function differently if no one was assigned a gender at birth?
100%, there would be a significant decrease in oppression based on identity. It wouldn’t solve everything though, because people can still base their bigotry on how you look. Everything considered it would still be very helpful.
Do you feel agender? If so, what does that feel like?
I feel agender, because I feel like I don’t have a gender at all.
Do you consider yourself non-binary?
Yes. I’m outside of the social construct, and thereby also out of the binary.
Do you consider yourself transgender?
Yes.
Do you plan on transitioning in any way? Name change, pronouns, surgery etc…
Not irl. I like my name, and I use all pronouns, so I can’t be misgendered. I think I will transition socially later in life.
What are your preferred pronouns and how did you decide?
All of them. I feel disconnected with gender as a whole, and pronouns don’t make me feel a certain way. It just feels like a functional thing, not like an identity thing.
What are your thoughts on dead naming?
It’s bad. Not much more to say about it
How would you describe your sexual orientation?
Pansexual
Did understanding your agender identity change your understanding of your sexuality?
Yes, i realised that gender isn’t a thing that decides attraction, but appearance does.
What is your gender expression?
I currently express myself as masculine leaning. I do this because it’s easier in my current social situation. In an ideal world I would express androgynously.
Do you feel dysphoria? What is dysphoria like for you?
Kinda. Although I often fanasize about the idea of having a more androgynous body, it doesn’t really impact my mood most of the time.
How often do you have doubts about your gender identity?
Not at all. I used to have a lot of it, but I realised that most people dont just have a gender, but also really feel one. And gender isn’t a neurological thing either, so “being wrong” about my gender doesn’t hold much weight anymore.
How often do you feel a desire to present or identify as identities aside from agender, be it your AGAB (assigned gender at birth), the opposite one, or non-binary?
I often desire to present androgynously, but the fact that I don’t doesn’t bother me a lot.
How did you first discover agender?
Youtube
How did you come to realise that you were agender?
I realised that I was agender was when I found out that most people really feel gender, and I simply don’t.
How did it change how you lived your life, if it did at all?
Not yet.
How long have you identified as agender?
A few months
Have societal pressures ever made you question/suppress your agender identity?
Yes
Why do you think it’s difficult for some people to grasp the concept of agender?
Because since birth people are told gender is the same as sex, and that each gender needs to have specific attributes. And that makes them unable to think out of the binary, let alone the entire social construct as a whole.
Has your understanding of agender shifted since you first learned about it?
Yes. For example: I found out that being agender is a spectrum, and that not all agender people feel 100% disconnected to gender.
What are things about agender you wish people understood better?
IT’S ALL MADE UP LITERALLY ANY GENDER IDENTITY IS VALID EVEN IF IT SOUNDS WEIRD
Have you come out as agender? If yes, how did you come out?
No, my dysphoria is minimal, so it’s more beneficial to not come out untill later.
What is it like using public restrooms?
I use the men’s bathroom because that’s wat people expect.
Does sexism affect your life in any way?
No
What are your thoughts on having kids? Do you plan to have kids someday?
Not a chance
What are your thoughts on skoliosexuality (attraction to any gender or nongender that isn’t cisgender)?
Completely valid.
Do you consider yourself to be part of the LGBTQIA+ community?
Yes
Do you identify as queer? If not, how do you identify?
Yes
Are you religious? If so, how does your faith and queerness work together?
No
How do you feel about how agender is perceived in the LGBTQIA+ community?
I haven’t heard anything negative about agender people from the community, but a lot of queer people still aren’t informed about our existence
Have you experienced discrimination in the LGBTQIA+ community?
No
What bothers you in the LGBTQIA+ community?
Gay people who don’t except bipoc and and trans people.
Have you ever been to a pride parade? How did it go?
No
Do you agree that pride month is necessary?
Yes, and it’s not nearly enough.
What are your thoughts about “ally” being added to the LGBTQIA+ acronym?
Its counterintuitive. Being an ally means supporting the queer community. And queer people associate with each other based on their sexuality and gender. (And sex for intersex people)
What are your thoughts on labels?
Use them if you want to, don’t if you don’t.
How has having the agender label benefited you?
No
How do you feel about representation of agender in media?
A lot if people view agender and nonbinary as the same thing.
Do you think that some of the misconceptions come from the idea that gender and sex are the same thing?
Yes absolutely. A strict binary with strong expectations is bound to look over the idea nonbinary people. Let alone agender people.
A kid asks if you are a boy or a girl, respond.
“Why do you want to know?”
What agender stereotypes do you not relate to?
There aren’t a lot of agender stereotypes, but a common idea is that gender defines someone’s humanity, so agender induviduals are seen as less human. And to be fair, no one person really fits this stereotype at all.
What agender stereotypes do you relate to?
None
What are misconceptions about being agender?
That it’s the exact same as being nonbinary.
What are things to NOT say to an agender person?
“You’re just confused”
What would you like to say to anyone who is agender or wondering if they are?
Dont hesitate to identify as agender. There is no harm in getting your gender wrong. There is no one who can tell you what your gender is bit yourself. So in the worst case scenario you get it wrong, and tell people who you came out to the label doesn’t fit you anymore.
How involved would you say you are with the agender community?
Pretty involved.
What are things you love about being agender, or being part of the agender community?
It’s one of the least bigoted and most loving community I’ve come across.
How often do you meet other agender people?
I have one agender friend but besides that almost never.
Do you think sexuality, romantic attraction and gender identity are things that people are born with, influenced by upbringing, or both?
Your sexual and romantic attraction is something you can’t change. You can only discover more about it. (This doesn’t mean it can’t change over tjme.)
Gender however is 100% social. You automatically develop it? but you can’t “turn trans” because of the internet.
What’s it like being queer in your country/society?
Not terrible, but a lot of people are still misinformed about queerness.
How have you been subjected to queerphobia?
No
What would you like people to know about agender?
We don’t owe you androgyny
We are not the exact same as nonbinary people.
We don’t want to hurt you, we just want to exist.
What are your thoughts on queer-baiting?
Big bussineses use it to pander to queer people, people express themselves how they want and don’t owe you their identity.