Why didn’t your parents have more kids?
My mum had fertility issue so having me was a miracle (and I ended up having same issues, I have an only (6 yrs old girl), naturally conceived after a failed IVF)
Were your parents contented with one child or did they want more?
They were happy with just me.
Did your parents feel pressured to have more kids?
I think so. I grew up in Japan where you still get social pressure (mostly from older generations) about having 2+ kids, so I can only imagine how much comments/pressure was put on my poor mum there.
How was growing up as an only child like? What was your childhood like?
I don’t recall feeling lonely, but I remember being jealous of my friends who has older sibling and so had access to more grown-up things while I had to find out the hard way. Otherwise having a 6’2″ Caucasian dad in Japan was more of reason to get bullied!
Did you at some point, wish you had siblings?
Yes, but older ones so that wasn’t going to happen!
Did your parents have “the talk” with you about why you’re an only child?
Only when I asked, once I was in my 20s.
Did you ever lie about having siblings?
No
Seeing most people with siblings, how do you cope?
Perfectly fine. I’ve seen many siblings who don’t associate with each other – if it wasn’t for common thing (i.e. parents) they’ll never even talk to each other, seeing them makes me happy I avoided that mess. My fiancé is youngest of 4 brothers (and younger of a twin) and they are incredibly close, and that is nice thing to see and make me smile, but I don’t wish for the same.
Do you feel lonely sometimes? Would it be better if you had a sibling?
No and no. My 2 best friends are both only child as well so we are just fine having each other.
Do you feel left out when people talk about their siblings?
Not really. I just give my anecdote about being an only child.
Are you an Introvert, ambivert or extrovert?
Ambivert
Are your parents overprotective?
My mum was, in a Japanese “omg don’t talk about sex or boys!” way. My English dad was more “let her make her mistake” kinda guy, but both were there for me whenever I needed them.
Did being an only child affect your social skills?
Yes
What’s your personality type?
I have a temper, I am bossy (or assertive, if you want to be nice), I am deeply caring and empathic. For those I chose to be close and open up to, I am lovely person to be with.
Is it easy for you to make friends?
Not always.
Do you consider your friends your siblings?
My 2 best friends who are only child themselves, yes. they are my sisters.
Do you want kids?If so, would you like to have an only child?
I have an only child, due to fertility issue – having her was a complete miracle and I am so grateful.
Does being an only child sometimes affect your decisions?
I think so, though I don’t know it myself. My friends all point out how I am way too independent, that I should be asking for their support/help sometimes instead of trying to do it all myself.
How has being an only child affected your life, or how is being an only child affecting your life?
I lost my dad 13 years ago, my mother is getting old too. The fact I will be an orphan most likely in next 10 years is a reality I am learning to face. That and it has made me fiercely independent, sometimes to a fault.
Growing up, how was your relationship with your parents?
Good.
How is your relationship with your parents now?
Good.
What effect does being an only child have on your romantic relationships?
If I feel like they are not putting enough effort or start taking me for granted, I get emotionally detached from them pretty quickly. But I don’t know how that may be related to me being an only…
What effect does being an only child have on your career?
Nothing.
What are the biggest misconceptions about only children?
We are spoilt and selfish. IMHO youngest siblings are the worst, manipulative and knows all the tricks how to get away with all sorts of trouble (like my fiancé!)
Do you get along well with adults?
Yes!
Do you do well with kids?
Yes.
Are you spoiled?If so, in what ways?
I had all the emotional and financial attention from my parents, in that sense then I was? I guess if I don’t get my way I get pretty pissed off but again, not sure my bossy-ness comes from being an only or not.
Do you sometimes feel like your parents put up with you because they don’t have a choice?
Sorry, I don’t get this question. What parents have choice when it comes to what kind of child they have and raise? Don’t all parents put up with all of their kids? Or are you saying parents with multiple kids can choose to emancipate themselves from one or two if they don’t like them??
When was it the most hard being an only child, in adolescent or adulthood?
I’d say hardest time is yet to come, when my mother passes.
When did you start to like being an only child?
Never not liked it.
How do people react when you tell them that you’re an only child?
“Oh right”.
What fears do you have, that stem from being an only child?
Nothing.
In what scenarios do you feel that being an only child is an issue?
Playground.
How do you feel about your birthday? Growing up, how did you celebrate birthdays? How do you celebrate birthdays now?
When I was a kid we’d have a party, in my 20s I’d get drunk with friends, now I go away for a weekend break to nice European city with my fiancé.
Do you talk to yourself?
No, but I talk to my cats.
Did you / do you have imaginary friends?
No.
Which of these things is the most important to you? Privacy, companionship, alone time, attention.
Alone time.
Who did you blame when you did something wrong as a kid?
Me.
What do you miss most about being a kid?
Not having to worry about money.
What do you think is your best personality trait?
Independence, determination, empathic, honesty
What do you think is your worst personality trait?
Short temper, independence, too honest sometimes
Do you enjoy being the center of attention?
Occasionally, but not constantly.
Have you always been a good kid?
No!
What life skills do you have, thanks to being an only child?
Knowing when it comes to it, I am the only person I can rely on fully.
Do you think being an only child affects mental health? If so, how?
Not that I noticed anything.
What stereotypes about only children do you not relate to?
Being selfish. What a load of bollocks, made up by c*nts.
What stereotypes about only children do you relate to?
Independent.
What about sibling-ship makes you glad that you’re an only child?
I know few siblings who don’t get on. Those who feel totally indifferent about their sibling, those who can’t stand each other, those who make someone who live in another country look after their elderly mother despite them living locally in same town as their mum and don’t give a f*ck, issues with inheritance, who gets which Christmas with who, my mum was always tougher on me than you cos I am the eldest….. all the crap I don’t have in my life and eternally glad for it.
What are the most annoying things that people have said to you about being an only child?
Weren’t you lonely? Well, no. Plenty of people – kids or adult – feel lonely in a room full of people, even if they have family or not. Sure, you’re more likely to feel lonely if you have no family. But that’s why you make one. And skills and will to make your own family has nothing to do with if you’re an only child or not.
What are things to NOT say to an only child?
Why didn’t your mummy and daddy want more kids? Cos they don’t want to have a child who’ll grow up to be an inconsiderate c*nt like you, love!
Do you think that there are few only children, compared to people with siblings?
Yes but I think the gap is getting smaller. Also depends on which country.
Do you feel the pressure to be perfect?
No.
What are the most only child things about you?
Independence.
Do you sometimes worry about your parents, because you’re their only child?
Yes.
Do you feel obligated to take care of our parents when they get old?
Yes but don’t all kids? If not they should.
What advice do you have for parents of an only child?
Bring them up to be a kind, decent human being who makes a valid contribution to the society and not grow up to be an a-hole. but that applies to everyone.
What are the disadvantages of being an only child?
No older sibling to share knowledge or care of parents.
What are the advantages of being an only child?
INHERITANCE!!!
Do you love or hate being an only child?
I love it.
If you had a choice, would you choose to be an only child?
Yes.
Growing up, did you have pets? Do you still have pets?
Always had at least 1 dog and 2 cats. Always.