What does having dermatillomania entail?

For me I pick my skin whenever I have nothing else to do on a way. I work as a lifeguard so for a few hours a day I just sit in a chair and watch a pool. I can pick at my skin while watching the pool and can’t do anything else. I usually pick at small wounds or scratches I get that scab over. I’ve started picking at big bites too. Obviously they get bigger and bigger which almost makes it more satisfying to pick at because larger scabs come off.

Do you have other related conditions?

Nothing diagnosed

Do you know what may have caused it?

I’m not sure because I started doing this in my childhood and have never really stopped. I managed to keep it minimal for a few years but this summer has made me get worse again. I think the stress of dealing with my parents and not living in my dorm at college has contributed to this “relapse.”

When did you first start picking?

I’m not sure if my exact age but around 7 years old.

When were you diagnosed with dermatillomania?

Full disclosure I’ve never been diagnosed with it and I don’t want to claim having a disorder I don’t have however I pick my skin often enough that I felt comfortable giving answers to this. However I have never been formally diagnosed and apologise if my answers are not useful because of the lack of diagnosis.

How did you feel knowing that there was a word for what you had? How did your diagnosis help?

Again I was never diagnosed however once I learned about it and that more people also picked at their skin it helped me feel less alone. My parents and brother noticed I picked at my skin and just shamed me and made fun of me instead of trying to help in a better way.

What symptoms do you experience? What areas do you usually pick?

I will pick anywhere that I find a cut or scratch. As of right now it’s focused on my arms and legs because of big bites and scratches I don’t remember how I got because they have been there for so long. I usually manage to avoid my face though sometimes I catch myself slipping.

How often do you pick?

Every day

What are your triggers?

If I’m not doing anything else and just have to sit somewhere and can’t be on my phone or even if I’m just watching TikToks I will pick at my skin. I usually try and find a raised area of skin and then pick at it or just go for areas I know have cuts on them already.

How would you describe how you feel when you pick at your skin?

It of course hurts while I’m doing it but like I don’t feel negative thoughts while I’m doing it.

Have you ever been caught picking?

Yes by both my parents and my brother but they haven’t caught me in years but recently my brother made a comment about the amount of open sores I have on my left arm. I think they believe I’ve stopped picking at my skin though so they don’t suspect that

How does dermatillomania affect your day-to-day life?

It just takes up time because sometimes I will have something else I should be doing but I will get distracted by picking. However for the most part I do it when I have time to do it if that makes sense.

Are there any potentially dangerous aspects to having dermatillomania? Have you experienced any?

I know infection is a possibility but I’ve never been personally affected by it. Even if my cuts have gotten infected I’ve never had to take antibiotics for it.

Do you tell people you have dermatillomania or is that something that you hope would remain more of a secret?

Secret

Have you developed mechanisms to manage it?

Not really

Have you had any treatment to help? How effective are they?

I’ve never had treatment

Have you experienced any sort of stigma for having dermatillomania? Did that take a toll on you? How did/do you deal with it?

My parents and brother would shame me both in private and in public. This definitely negatively impacted me and didn’t really stop me from doing it. However, it made me feel bad about myself and made me better at hiding when I pick my skin

What is your general outlook on your condition?

I’ve never really thought about it because I’ve managed to avoid any serious complications so I guess I’ll just continue which I know logically is wrong.

Have you lost opportunities due to having dermatillomania?

Not that I know of

Does dermatillomania have an affect on what you wear or things you do? Is there anything that having dermatillomania has prevented you from doing that you really wish you could do?

While I should probably wear longer sleeves right now I’ve never actually worn longer sleeves to hide my arms. However I do try to sit so that people are on the side with less wounds.

How did/does dermatillomania affect your education?

It doesn’t really affect it.

How does dermatillomania affect your career?

It hasn’t affected it

How does dermatillomania affect your love life?

It hasn’t affected it but I’m also single lol

What did your parents do right and wrong, in raising a child with dermatillomania?

I guess they did right by noticing I had a problem but they never did anything to help me when they realised I had a problem. It also didn’t help that they just made fun of me or yelled at me when they noticed I did it.

What do you find is the biggest challenge of living with dermatillomania?

Probably the appearance of having so many cuts or sores.

What are your fears that stem from having dermatillomania?

Just the fear that people will find out and will shame me or make fun of me. I also am afraid people have noticed and gossip about me behind my back

What are things to NOT say or do to people who have dermatillomania?

Shaming them or making fun of them does not help it just makes them sneakier

What would you like to say to parents of people who have dermatillomania?

Understand the problem before judging and get them help instead of making fun of them or yelling at them. Maybe reflect on what role you could have played to make them turn to something like this in some cases