What does self-love mean to you?

Self-love means strong boundaries. It means forbidding yourself from crossing certain lines as much as it means forbidding others from crossing them.

What limiting beliefs do you have that are holding you back from loving yourself more?

The idea that other people’s negativity and judgments toward me still matter.

When did you truly start loving yourself?

When my grandmother died, and I no longer had to put someone else’s needs before mine.

What stopped you from forming a healthy relationship with yourself in the past?

Abuse, neglect, and bullying during my formative years.

What inspired you to start to love yourself?

Seeing how older folks generally stop giving a shit after a certain age, and just focus on living life. I wanted their confidence, and I didn’t want to wait until I was decrepit.

What have you learnt on your journey to self love?

“You are not compelled to form any opinion about this matter before you, nor to disturb your peace of mind at all. Things in themselves have no power to extort a verdict from you.” – Marcus Aurelius

How do you practice self love?

Getting out of the house more.

What do you need to be more at peace with yourself?

Financial security and career stability.

How do you deal with intrusive, negative thoughts?

Journaling, sports, and therapy.

How do you handle comments from other people?

Depends on the comments. Negative, snide, passive-aggressive comments usually get ignored. Genuine compliments get a thank you. In both cases I move on quickly.

What effects does loving yourself have on your life?

I feel calmer. Speak in slower, measured sentences. I’m more focused and present.

What effects does self love have on your relationships?

The people in my life feel calmer around me because I’m calmer within myself.

Why is self love important?

Because the alternative will do far more damage.

Do you think there is such thing as too much self-love or not enough of it?

Everything has the potential to become harmful in extremes.

Do you think self love is selfish? Why or why not?

Not inherently. It can be, if you let it.

What are your thoughts on how society views the idea of “self-love”?

I do think there are some conflicting messages coming from different corners. Some advocate for unconditional self-love to the point of self-absorption; others believe in tearing people down until they’re too humble to offend anyone. Both are wrong. Yet both seem to have legions of believers. This astounds me.

When is the last time you told yourself “I love you” or “I am enough”?

Last night.

Say something to people trying to start to love themselves.

Start now.

If you were to teach someone about self love, what would you say? What self love tips would you give someone.

Strong fences make good neighbors. Set reasonable boundaries and enforce them without reservation or guilt.