What are your racial identities?

1/2 Black, 1/2 White

How do you feel about the cliche that mixed-race people are attractive? Do you find it to be fetishizing?

In the Black community I’m a 10. In the white community, I’m maybe a 2 or 3. It’s a colorism thing in the black community. In the white community, certain features like colored eyes and a natural tan are attractive but as a whole – white looking mixed raced people are considered attractive

Do you believe that you are allowed to say racial slurs as long as you are part of that identity?

No. And I hate it when other people of my identity do. I get it’s a cultural thing but it just furthers the racism problem

Do you believe that how you pass is more important than your actual race?

Yes. I pass as obviously non-white. I’ve gotten Middle Eastern, Hispanic, Mediterranean. It’s only those familiar with 1/2 Black, 1/2 white who identify me correctly.

Do you usually identify with a racial identity more than another?

My driver’s license says white because I want no more issue with the police than needed. My college applications said black. In spaces were profiling is significant I put white. And when it’s too my advantage I put Black. However, Blacks consider my culture and interests too white to fit in. Whites don’t understand or relate to my black culture and ghetto upbringing usually.

Have you tried to hide some of your racial identity?

I relax my hair and style it like white women. I have used skin lightening creams. I change how I act around different races to try and fit in.

Does being mixed race affect your sense of belonging any way?

YES. I feel utterly isolated. I’m rejected by the black community for behaving white. I’m not dully accepted in the white community because I don’t look like them. I understand *both* sides of the race issues and because of that the Blacks think I’m not woke because some of the concerns are excessive when we have bigger problems and the whites think I’m too overly sensitive for having issues with systemic racism.

What are your thoughts on racial imposter syndrome? Have you experienced it?

Well, most Black people call me an Oreo – Black on the outside, white on the inside. I mostly related to that as I was raised by my white family but I do have a lot of Black elements in my personality and culture and appearance.

Have you ever used your identities to your advantage?

All the time. See above. Any minority advantage or any opportunity to avoid systemic racism.

Have you ever experienced discrimination? Did that take a toll on you? How did/do you deal with it?

Constantly. Even as young as 10 I was told I needed to hangout with the Black kids, which we had completely different lives and interests and didn’t relate. It’s always a battle to hide my racist appropriate interests and mannerisms from each side to fit in. It’s constantly masking and it’s exhausting.

How do you feel about interracial relationships?

As a kid I strongly felt being an interracial child was a form of emotional abuse. I still kinda feel that way. However, I am strongly for interracial relationships. They do present a unique cultural challenge but it’s also a great learning and growth experience for the partners, their friends, and family.

Do you believe that the issues of racism can be solved by interracial love?

No. There are people in my own family who are inadvertently racist to me. My mother likes to claim she’s not racist because her kid is black but we have had sooo many conversations where I’ve had to point out her racism and prejudice.

What are your favorite and least favorite parts of your cultures?

I love black music that isn’t derogatory and spades and barbecues and urban life. I love more traditionally white foods (less flavor), I like country music and rodeos and nerdy “white” activities like board games and theatre.

What effects does being mixed race have on your life (career, love life e.t.c)?

I can 1000% own that I have prejudice against black men from childhood trauma. I’ve worked on it but the PTSD just prevents me from wanting to be in a relationship with them. However, if I was interested, I’d have no problem finding a partner. However, my looks don’t traditionally appeal to other races, making the initial step of finding a partner harder. In my career, I’m the only black person but I think being a woman is more limiting.

What are some things that you experience that non-mixed race people don’t?

Discrimination from both races. Colorist from Blacks, racism from other races. Feeling like I don’t belong with either race and even being told that.

What did your parents do right and wrong, in raising a multiracial child?

My dad was abusive in many ways and absent. I don’t know his side of the family. However, my mother did have several black boyfriends and my step dad was black, exposing me to Black culture. However, she never learned how to do my hair and started relaxing it at 7. She did put a focus on academics and mental health and therapy, which are things my Black friends didn’t really get.

What are misconceptions about being multiracial?

You fit in everywhere. You can’t be prejudice or racist. You don’t experience racism. You don’t understand racism from the minority point of view.

What are the most annoying things people have said to you about being multiracial?

Why don’t I hang our with the X race people? Where are you from? What’s your hair really like? Why isn’t your butt bigger if you’re actually black? Do you know your dad? You’re not *really* Black/white.

What are things to NOT say or do to people who are multiracial?

See above question. If you talk about race, be prepared to be corrected because you can’t see both sides if your only one race.

What are disadvantages of being multiracial?

Already answered this.

What are advantages of being multiracial?

You get the best of both cultures.

What would you like people to know about being multiracial?

It’s very difficult. I find being multiracial harder than being just one race or the other, harder than being a woman, and being part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

How do you feel about how being multiracial is portrayed in media? What are your favorite pieces of media with authentic representation?

Black-ish – the Tracey Ellis Ross character. Mixed-is was off. There’s not much representation of successful interracial couples, which is depressing. Guess who’s coming to dinner with Ashton Kutcher is good. Get Out is…. very problematic but a good watch.

Who are your favorite multiracial celebrities or characters?

Tracey Ellis Ross, the Mowry twins even through they played purely Black in Sister, Sister. They don’t typically cast multiracial characters which makes good ones hard to find.

What would you like to say to people who are multiracial?

You’re not alone.

What would you like to say to parents of multiracial people?

It’s rough for your kid. Have the race talk. Hear there side. Expose them to both sides of the family. They can have the best of both worlds.

What’s your general outlook on being multiracial? How did you start to come to terms with it?

I mean… I wouldn’t say I accept myself. I just found the people I’m most comfortable with and assimilated but I’m not happy because there’s still a whole part of my identity that is neglected when I’m with them.

Tell your story, opinions, experiences.

I’m emotionally drained at this point. Race is hard.