What does having dermatillomania entail?
The compulsion to remove imperfections from my skin by picking them off/out.
Do you have other related conditions?
No
Do you know what may have caused it?
Did not learn healthy ways to manage to difficult emotions. Did learn that my appearance is my biggest virtue (female socializing).
When did you first start picking?
Too young to remember
When were you diagnosed with dermatillomania?
Haven’t been
How did you feel knowing that there was a word for what you had? How did your diagnosis help?
I don’t feel a need to be diagnosed. It’s clear to me that I have it; a diagnosis is superfluous. Finding out a word for this exists was life-changing. It meant I could pursue healing. I never knew it was a thing that could be healed before; it felt beyond me. I can pursue that healing without a diagnosis.
What symptoms do you experience? What areas do you usually pick?
Areas: Anywhere I get acne (face, arms, chest, back) and my fingers (starting with the cuticles but it expands from there all over my thumbs). Symptoms: Habit of scanning and examining the skin for imperfections. Losing awareness of self as I dig into imperfections, getting a false sense of peace and well-being while I do it, and the temporary relief of anxiety and other negative feelings.
How often do you pick?
Daily, usually, at least a little bit
What are your triggers?
Feelings of insecurity, especially; but any feelings of discomfort can trigger it
How would you describe how you feel when you pick at your skin?
At peace, right with the world
Have you ever been caught picking?
Sure
How does dermatillomania affect your day-to-day life?
Increases my social anxiety and self-esteem problems, which means a drain on my mental and emotional energies and time. I used to actually cancel plans because of it but I stopped that.
Are there any potentially dangerous aspects to having dermatillomania? Have you experienced any?
I think the psychological impacts are dangerous. It really fucks with your life and relationships.
Can you recall any big moments in your life that was shaped by having dermatillomania?
No
Do you tell people you have dermatillomania or is that something that you hope would remain more of a secret?
I would tell people if it came up. It doesn’t come up.
Have you developed mechanisms to manage it?
Yes. Meditating regularly increases my self awareness, and increasing self awareness means I’m more likely to realize what I’m doing when I’m on my way to pick or I’m already picking, and when I do realize that, I say “Take care of yourself, love yourself, stop this, walk out of the bathroom right now.” It’s very hard to ignore that voice.
Have you had any treatment to help? How effective are they?
Increasing self-awareness and mindfulness, generally. I haven’t done specific treatment for the picking.
Have you experienced any sort of stigma for having dermatillomania? Did that take a toll on you? How did/do you deal with it?
Stigma? Well sure I mean jokes and insults about bad skin abound and so do products and advice about how to have clear skin. So it’s just common knowledge that bad skin is ugly and the toll that took on me was feeling like an ugly and worthless person.
What is your general outlook on your condition?
Something I have control over and can improve
Have you lost opportunities due to having dermatillomania?
Probably yeah opportunities to make or retain friends, with all my cancellations in the past
Does dermatillomania have an affect on what you wear or things you do? Is there anything that having dermatillomania has prevented you from doing that you really wish you could do?
Yeah sometimes I wear a t shirt instead of tank top but I love wearing tank tops, I love wearing as little in the possible in the summer (it gets so hot here), it makes me feel alive.
How did/does dermatillomania affect your education?
Not at all
How does dermatillomania affect your career?
I hope not at all!
How does dermatillomania affect your love life?
Sometimes I don’t try to date because I’m going through a bad skin phase
What did your parents do right and wrong, in raising a child with dermatillomania?
They ignored it entirely
What are misconceptions about dermatillomania?
We’re on meth lol
What do you find is the biggest challenge of living with dermatillomania?
Breaking the habit
What are things to NOT say or do to people who have dermatillomania?
“Just stop”
How do you feel about how dermatillomania is portrayed in media? What are some of your favorite pieces of media with authentic representation?
I’ve never seen it portrayed in the media
What would you like to say to people who have dermatillomania?
Dig into why you do this and develop healthy mechanisms to replace it, that’s the only way forward
What would you like to say to parents of people who have dermatillomania?
Be honest and straightforward with them about it; don’t pretend it isn’t happening; help them find a therapist
How do you wish our society would perceive and treat people with dermatillomania?
Same as how we treat people with eating disorders. You are sick and you need help.
What would you like people to know about dermatillomania?
It’s like an eating disorder