I am under 16, my pronouns are she/they, im aa bisexual demigirl from the Netherlands
What does being demigender mean to you?
That I am partly comfortable as a girl, but part of me also wants people to see me as non-binary.
What are your thoughts on the concept of gender?
I think gender is a social construct, and that some people can be more comfortable without a gender, whilst others do want a gender.
Do you think society as a whole would function differently if no one was assigned a gender at birth?
Yes, it would be alot easier for the lgbt community.
How do you identify?
As a demigirl, but I often say I’m a girl to avoid confusion.
What are your genders
Female and non-binary.
Do you identify as genderflux?
No.
Do you consider yourself non-binary?
Yes
Do you consider yourself transgender?
Partly.
Do you plan on transitioning in any way? Name change, pronouns, surgery etc…
In Dutch there are no easy genderless pronouns, so I won’t change my pronouns. I also still feel like my birth name fits me, and because I am still partly a girl, I am comfortable with genitals and stuff. I do want shorter hair, but thats the only thing.
What are your preferred pronouns and how did you decide?
I am still experimenting with she/they online, but as I said, there are no good genderless pronouns in Dutch, so I still use she/her irl.
How would you describe your sexual orientation?
Bisexual, because men and women and non-binary people are pretty hot.
Did understanding your gender change your understanding of your sexuality?
Kind of, I first thought I had a big preference for non-binary people, but now I see it is mostly gender envy.
Do you feel dysphoria? What is dysphoria like for you?
Yes, but not much. I mostly dress and act like a tomboy, and I hate dresses and my long and feminine hair.
How often do you have doubts about your gender identity?
Often.
How did you first discover demigender?
Reddit, I first started looking into bigender, when I came across a post about someone questioning their gender, where the label demigirl was mentioned. The I immediately remembered that also exists.
How did you come to realise that you were demigender?
I have always been a tomboy, and over the last few weeks I started to realise how I really want people to see me as enby. But I also like aspects of being a girl, I do not wish I was not AFAB.
How did it change how you lived your life, if it did at all?
Nah, not really.
How long have you identified as demigender?
Just a few weeks.
Why do you think it’s difficult for some people to grasp the concept of demigender?
People always think you are just a girl, but not girly.
Have you come out as demigender? If yes, how did you come out?
Nope, I did mention it to my friends, but I did not ‘come out’. They just were doing a poll of our friend group about sexuality and gender. They gave me a gender spectrum and asked were I was, and I said I was between female and nonbinary.
How did people react to your coming out?
They just went on.
If you were to have kids someday, what would you like them to refer you as?
Mom, or maybe now and then ‘my parent’ instead of ‘my mum’.
Have you ever being forced to pick a gender?
Multiple times.
What are your thoughts on skoliosexuality (attraction to any gender or nongender that isn’t cisgender)?
If you can be attracted to girls only, or only guys, then why cant you be just attracted to enbys (or non-cis people)?
Do you consider yourself to be part of the LGBTQIA+ community?
Most definitely yes.
How do you think your experiences through life may or may not have influenced/shaped your demigender identity?
I did not like any of the ‘girly’ girls in my class, I was just friends with guys or girls like me. That may have influenced my gender.
What are your thoughts about “ally” being added to LGBTQIA+ acronym?
It should just be normal to be an ally, so no (sorry allies).
What are your thoughts on labels?
Some people like em, some people dont. Im fine with both.
What would you like to say to people who question demigender as a gender identity?
Do not question it too much. You will be fine if you identify as cis, or as demigender. You will see.
A kid asks if you are a boy or a girl, respond.
Girl. If I had to tell the truth, I would say:
‘See, I’m kind of a girl, but I am also neither of the two.’
How do you deal with people who are curious about your demigender identity?
I just answer their questions, if they have any. I am not offended when people are curious, even if their questions are weird.
What are things to NOT say to a demigender person?
It’s just a phase.
What would you like to say to anyone who is demigender or wondering if they are?
❤️
Do you think sexuality, romantic attraction and gender identity are things that people are born with, influenced by upbringing, or both?
Both, it is in your genes, but your childhood and friends do have an impact.