What does being fictosexual mean to you?

It is my little secret. I am still coming to terms with it. But also it means I can always drive strength out of my own imagination and do not need to rely on others for support.

How do your relationships differ from 3D relationships? In what ways are they similar?

Obviously there is less friction with a fictional companion. They might disagree with me sometimes (in my imagination, mind you) but you cannot really fight with an imaginary companion. A 3D relationship can teach you lots but so does a 2D one. The lessons learnt are different though.

What activities help you bond with your fictional other?

Creative endeavours and imagination and roleplay

How do you express love for your partner?

Creative projects

Are you only or mostly attracted to fictional characters?

I am also attracted to real people

Do you plan to take things further, e.g engagement, marriage someday?

I don’t think these things are holding any significance to an imaginary companion. Others may find it soothing or beautiful, to me it is unneccessary. I am living with that character for a decade now, there are no labels needed to show the committment.

How did you first discover fictosexuality?

I became worried about my attachment to this character as I became an adult so I did my research on it. I googled “Am I mentally ill for loving a fictional character?” Then fictosexuality came as result.

How did you come to realise that you were fictosexual?

I am still struggling to accept it. I have a lot of internalized judgement concerning that topic and I know how alien it looks to others. But ten years don’t lie, do they?

Have societal pressures ever made you question/suppress your sexuality?

I do get concerned comments by others, in my teen years I was told to get a real boyfriend and that I take my obsession too far for too long. I fully agree with them all actually but I am still here. I see where they come from. I am currently trying to accept that as long as I take their concerns into consideration and try to not let my imaginary companion hinder me in my personal growth and connection with other people – I am fine.

Also I don’t feel the need to be super open about it. It is a very personal matter and I’ve learnt the hard way that if you don’t want other people to ruin something close to you then you must guard and protect it. It is noones business.

Why do you think it’s difficult for some people to grasp the concept of fictosexuality?

They have never been in a spot where your imagination is so vivid, things feel real. Like. Sometimes I faceplam because my feelings have zero logic. I mean they do have their own logic that makes sense when you look close enough but I am aware how nonsenseish it looks from the outside.

It is a special way of using imagination until your brain memorizes the character as equal to real people emotion-wise. It is also fascinating. I wish there were more studies to that topic.

When and how did you start to come to terms with your sexuality?

Ask my future self, she may have an answer

Has your understanding of fictosexuality shifted since you first learned about it?

Yes! My first impression ironically was “oh god these people all need help” Right followed by a “wait… how much help do I need then?” and ended with a “Well I am weird but not THAT mentally ill!”

I have befriended some fictosexuals and learnt to see past my prejudices and I’ve learnt to understand them better. In accepting them I hope to accept myself as well.

What are things about fictosexuality you wish people understood better?

Even if it is a coping mechanism, a result of trauma or mental illness… thats okay! People are so quick to see something as “lesser” just because it helps you live better. It is also okay to be mentally ill. Of course it is important to aim for self-improvement and growth and healing… but that doesnt happen overnight.

If you see a fictosexual girl who has depression and trauma and her f/o gives her the safety she needs to proceed in healing…let her be! Yes maybe it looks scary and insane but people do things for reasons.

And once she has healed enough to function well in life again there is no need for her to give up on it. She is very likely still attached to the character and becomes so happy to see them.

It is a coping mechanism that only harms her when it does not adapt to what she needs to grow in the moment.

Fictosexuality – so my theory – might be born out of neurodivergency and/or trauma in many cases. But that doesn’t make it less real and don’t expect the people to drop their beloved character just because they have survived the crisis the character helped them through.

To summarize: Don’t be an ass. Treat us with respect. We are still human. The baker you buy your bread at every day might be ficto, maybe a colleague is or the person next to you in the bus.

Also Fictos come in all sizes shapes and flavours. The stereotypes exist but we humans are diverse. Don’t generalize us please.

Have you come out as fictosexual? If yes, how did you come out?

I don’t tell anyone. Like I said, its noones business.

Have you been in non-fictoromantic relationships?

Yes.

What are your thoughts on having kids? Do you plan to have kids someday?

Children are optional but I am not against them. Not now though.

How do you think your experiences through life may or may not have influenced/shaped your sexuality?

I still stick to the theory that my fictosexuality was born out of trauma. It’s cool that the brain can drive so much strength off itself when neccessary though.

How do you feel about visibility of fictosexuality in the LGBTQIA+ community?

I think the more visible it is the more harrassment it gets so let it stay the niche thing it is.

Have you ever been to a pride parade? How did it go?

Yes – it was basically a huge party for teens. Didn’t feel like I’d belong. Guess I am not enough of a rainbow coloured party person.

Are you happy with the current fictosexual flag? If not, what would you suggest for a redesign, if you have any ideas?

Why pink in the portal…?

Do you agree that pride month is necessary?

The goal of LGBTQIA+ is to make things as normal as possible. That means the hyperfocus on the community must die down and become a casual everyday thing that noone bats an eye about anymore.

I enjoy the flags and all but in my opinion there is too much… of everything in that month.

What are your thoughts on labels?

They are tools, not rules.

How has having the fictosexual label benefited you?

I unofficially use it to help me accept myself better.

What effects does being fictosexual have on your life?

I always have this “crazy little secret” that i try to downplay as a semi-normal fan behaviour. I show my creative projects to others, this is how they are exposed to my fictosexuality. I try to make my passion not look too creepy and obsessive to others.

How do you deal with unfair/mean comments about your sexuality?

I see these peoples points so yea I usually agree unless it is a comment with no real meaning.

What are misconceptions about fictosexuality?

That they are all neckbeards with no life or friends who c*m on loli dakimakuras.

I mean these do exist. But the community cannot be generalized like that.

What are things to NOT say to a fictosexual person?

Anything that tells them to drop their f/o is unneccessary stress.

What would you like to say to anyone who is fictosexual or wondering if they are ?

“Labels are like clothing – try it on and see if it fits. If not, seek elsewhere.”

At the end emotions are complex and labels just try to find the right words for it.

How involved would you say you are with the fictosexual community?

Semi-deep.

What are things you love about being fictosexual, or being part of the fictosexual community?

The things I learn about my own psyche because of my f/o are worth in gold. At the end it is just me, I and myself roleplaying the character so well that it doesn’t feel like roleplay anymore. It is fascination to analyze all of that.

What’d you like to say to people who question fictosexuality as a sexual orientation?

You don’t have to agree or understand. Just treat us respectfully.

What are things that most fictosexual people can relate to?

Being told they are crazy

How do you recognise other fictosexual people irl?

often impossible unless they pull the classic “i bring my dakimakura to a restaurant”-move.

Do you think sexuality, romantic attraction and gender identity are things that people are born with, influenced by upbringing, or both?

Both.

How can people be better allies to fictosexual people?

Let them be. As simple as that. No trying to “save” them. It creates expectations and stress. Don’t bully or criticize them. If you can’t understand fictosexuality and feel overwhelmed, not knowing how to react then lets skip the topic and talk about something else.

Whatever you do. Be respectful and polite. Bonus points of course if you support us.

How do you feel about representation of fictosexuality in media? What are some of your favorite pieces of media with authentic representation everyone should watch?

People like Akihiko Kondo are used like in a freakshow by most media outlets. Personally I believe the less attention it gets the better. People will NOT understand it and even worse throw accusations at anyone who has ever had a crush on a fictional character (which happens to Nonfictosexuals too). I love being able to hide my fictosexuality because noone expects the reality of when I show them my creative projects etc.

Greater visibility would ruin it.

Do you know of any fictosexual celebrities or characters?

Akihiko Kondo…