What does being aromantic mean to you?
I think overall, it’s a mixed feeling. At times, I feel I appreciate my platonic relationships more and feel a great love for family and friends. However, I also feel a great loneliness where I can’t love someone the same way as they love me.
How do you identify within the spectrum?
Aromatic Asexual
What is your sexual orientation?
Non-binary
Do you find that people often assume that aromantic = asexual?
Yes, as it’s fairly rare to find an AroAllo, but I know they exist and they are valid Aros regardless
Do you use Aro slang, such as “No Romo”? What are your favorite aro slangs?
No Romo is good ngl
Are you romance positive, romance indifferent, romance negative/repulsed or do you not like to use a label? Do you use a different label to describe your attitude(s) to romance?
Romance Adverse is prolly where I’m at. I’m not disgusted by romance, but I wouldn’t want to have a romance focused relationship where it’s continuously unreciprocated by me.
Do you “get” romance and romantic people, or does it always surprise you?
I am surprised by the amount of toxic/extreme stuff people are willing to cope with just because they are afraid of losing someone. Like, if it’s not healthy or making you happy, then leave or seek help if you can’t.
Do you enjoy romantic content?
Indifferent
What’s your outlook on love and sex?
Lol, AroAce intensifies
Do you desire physical touch?
Cuddling is nice when called for, but I’m like a cat where enough is enough
Do you desire companionship?
Yes, I value my friends wholeheartedly
Do you feel alterous attraction? If so, what does it feel like? how did you determine it wasn’t romantic?
There is sensual, platonic, and Aesthetic attraction, but the way I differentiate is asking: “Do I want to have sex, and or, develop a life with this person?” The answer is always “No, I like their look, personality, and think I could be friends with them”
Where do you draw the line between platonic love and romance?
I don’t have an answer because I don’t experience romance, so it’s hard for me to draw a line.
Is it possible for you to feel heartbreak?
Yes, of course it is, we aren’t robots.
What is your attachment style?
Lol, my what?
How do you handle when someone grows romantic feelings for you?
I honestly feel guilty that I can’t give them back the same feelings. I explain that I’m AroAce and that I value their friendship. It really does feel like a kick to the stomach because I feel like I somehow lead them on.
Have you ever been in a romantic relationship? How did it go?
Yes, it was in high school and it went terribly. But this was before I figured out I was AroAce, and if I known then, I think it would’ve been better.
What are your thoughts on the “A” in LGBTQIA+ often standing for “ally” instead of “aromantic/asexual”?
You trying to trigger me? LGBT+ is about finding your identity through community and being finally open and free from ridicule. Being an Ally is simply not being an ass.
Do you have an aro ring? What does an aro ring mean to you?
Don’t have Aro ring, I have an Ace ring. (Just like the aesthetic more). But even my Ace ring reminds me of both communities and that I’m alone.
Respond to the phrase “Maybe you just haven’t met the right one”.
I’m happily single and not caring to mingle.
How does your experience of aromanticism relate to your gender?
Still trying to figure that out lol
Are you neurodivergent? If yes, how do you think it affects your aro experience?
Possibly, never got tested or confirmed.
Are you a person of colour (POC)? If yes, how do you think it affects your experience?
Nope. I’m half-Polish, half-American
When did you start realizing that there was something different in the way that you felt romantic attraction?
High school but I didn’t know about the Aro or Ace as an LGBT+ identity. I really only came familiar with it within the past year
How did you first discover aromanticism?
I figured something was off when I was in HS and college where I didn’t feel a drive to date like my peers. I thought I was just picky and been told to have high standards. But, it wasn’t until JaidensAnimations video that I found the greater Aro and Ace communities. I’m active on Reddit in those and other LGBT subreddits
How did you come to realise that you were aromantic?
See answer above
How often do you have doubts about being aromantic?
No, just a roller coaster of feelings
How long have you identified as aromantic?
Within the past year
Have you ever experienced or do you still experience internalised Arophobia?
Yes, my family thinks I will eventually get married, and haven’t found the “right one.” It’s sad but I brush it off
Why do you think it’s difficult for some people to grasp the concept of aromanticism?
For Allos and CisHets, finding romance is a drive for them and then there’s social pressure that people must date and find their happily ever after. Mine’s drink good coffee and reading a good book
How did you start to come to terms with being aromantic?
It was a lightbulb moment that I’ve always been Aro and just now realizing it. But, to answer the question, I feel close to my friends and love them like family
What was the moment where you fully came to terms with being aromantic?
No defining instant, but a realization of why I didn’t seek a partner
Has your understanding of aromanticism shifted since you first learned about it?
No shifts, but I am still learning all the Arospec identities
What are things about aromanticism you wish people understood better?
Romance isn’t everything in life
Have you come out as aromantic? If yes, how did you come out?
My coming out story was sharing Jaiden’s video with my mom and told her that’s how I identified. She understood but is still a bit confused or doesn’t think about it
How did you decide who to tell and who do you tell now when meeting new people?
The vibes they give off. I often find it’s easier to tell women more so than men. This way they can feel more relaxed that I’m not out to sleep with them or something. Then, when my queer-DAR is going off, it’s usually thrown in with usual conversation
How did people react to your coming out?
Confused or accepting if they have some background knowledge about queer identities
What’s something you wish you had known about aromanticism before coming out?
That there was a community of people like me
What’s the hardest part about coming out?
Worrying about how people will perceive you afterwards
Do you think there is anything wrong with how romance is portrayed in media or how people see romance? If yes, how so?
I would want to see friendships form more in media rather than romance. Remember how cringy it’s was when Ray kissed Adam Driver’s character in Star Wars? That was so wrong, they could’ve been just friends
What are your thoughts on queerplatonic relationships?
Sure, don’t know how one works though. But, I feel like if went into a QPR, it would be with another AroAce
Do you currently partake or want to partake in platonic partnerships/quasiplatonic partnerships? How do you think this affects your aro experience?
No
What are your thoughts on marriage? Would you ever get married to a friend or a qpp/pp?
Depends on the relationship and if it would be mutually helpful
What are your thoughts on dating apps?
Don’t have them
How has being aromantic affected your relationships?
Single and not caring to mingle
Do you think that you would view romantic gestures the same way as you do, if there were no societal standards or ideas of what that meant in the first place?
I would think them as people being nice
What are your thoughts on having kids? Do you plan to have kids someday?
Don’t count on it
Do you consider yourself to be part of the LGBTQIA+ community?
Yes
Do you identify as queer? If not, how do you identify?
Yes, I think being queer is anything outside of being CisHet
Are you religious? If so, how does your faith and queerness work together?
No
How do you think your experiences through life may or may not have influenced/shaped your aromanticism?
Don’t know
How do you feel about how aromanticism is perceived in the LGBTQIA+ community?
It’s not highlighted but I think that’s okay
Have you experienced discrimination in the LGBTQIA+ community?
Not personally
What bothers you in the LGBTQIA+ community?
Individuals that exclude/gatekeep people in communities because they don’t fit the poster child view of that identity
Have you ever been to a pride parade? How did it go?
No
Are you happy with the current Aromantic flag? If not, what would you suggest for a redesign, if you have any ideas?
It’s a good flag, I like green so no issues from me
Do you agree that pride month is necessary?
Yes
What are your thoughts on labels?
Have them if you want them
How has having the aromantic label benefited you?
A sense of community
How do you feel about representation of aromanticism in media?
That we are all robots, aliens, or anti-social? Love it /s
What’d you like to say to skeptics out there who don’t believe that aromanticism exists?
Fuck off
What effects does being aromantic have on your life?
Difficulties in maintaining relationships with people who may have romantic incentives
How do you deal with people who are curious about your aromanticism?
I tell them and educate to the best of my own knowledge
How do you deal with arophobia?
I click the “report user” button
What was the most difficult moment in your life surrounding being aromantic?
Understanding that living alone can be very real
What stereotypes about aromantic people do you not relate to?
Aliens and robots
What stereotypes about aromantic people do you relate to?
Aliens and robots, and a need for cake
What are the most annoying things people have said to you about aromanticism?
It’s not real
What are misconceptions about being aromantic?
That we are heartless
What are things to NOT say to an aromantic person?
That’s not real, Are you recovering from a relationship, I can fix you, etc
What would you like to say to anyone who is aromantic or wondering if they’re on the aromantic spectrum?
You’re valid!
How involved would you say you are with the aromantic community?
Since coming out I joined Reddit so just under a year
Do you prefer to access spaces for both aces and aros, or do you prefer to access aro only spaces? Why?
Lol I don’t think Aro only spaces exist. I don’t have a preference because people do what people do any way
What are things you love about being aromantic, or being part of the aromantic community?
The people mainly
What are things that most aromantic people can relate to?
Friendship stories like Frodo and Sam in LotR
How often do you meet other aromantic people?
Never IRL
How do you recognise other aromantic people irl?
I haven’t found any lol, show you rings or something
How do you meet and connect with fellow aromantic people?
See two previous answers
Do you think sexuality , romantic attraction and gender identity are things that people are born with, influenced by upbringing, or both?
As Lady Gaga once said: Born this way
What’s it like being queer in your country/society?
Like walking on eggshells unless you’re around other queers, then it like being in a club
How have you been subjected to queerphobia?
Not directly
What would you like to say to queerphobic people?
Fuck off
What would you like people to know about aromanticism?
We still feel love, just not in the romantic sense
Is there any Aromantic Awareness where you live/are from? How much?
Nope
How can people be better allies to aromantic people?
Just don’t gate-keep, it’s really that simple
What are your favorite aromantic quotes?
Single and not caring to mingle
What are some of your favorite pieces of media with authentic representation everyone should watch?
Lord of the Rings with Frodo and Sam
Who are your favorite aromantic celebrities or characters?
They exist????
What are your thoughts on queer-baiting?
What?
Give a message to the queer community.
You’re valid and loved!!!!!
Tell your story, opinions, experiences.
I feel I just did in the previous responses. Ngl this was a long survey.