What does being fictosexual mean to you?

For me, fictosexuality is simply the fact that someone feels a romantic feeling towards a fictional character. Afterwards, there are several derivative visions of this feeling: some will simply consider that it is, while others will add a “lifestyle” side to it where it devotes itself to their S/O (we call it waifuism).

What is your romantic orientation?

I am fictoromantic, that is to say that I romantically love fictional characters (exclusively female characters for my part).

How do your relationships differ from 3D relationships? In what ways are they similar?

The feeling of love is the same whether it is a fictional or real person. we find the same principles as most people who decide to get into a relationship, such as the principle of fidelity or devotion to their significant other. the same customs are therefore found there. the biggest difference is mainly in the fact that, being born fictitious obliges, the character cannot return love, or act as an individual. It does not exist, so it is a love that is based mainly on the gift and not on a certain equivalence. Even if we can overcome this with the use of video games or by reading the work of our S/O to relive his emotions, we can not really receive love in a direct way as with a person real. There is also the difference of the social stigma which means that it will be seen as a deviance sociologically speaking.

What activities help you bond with your fictional other?

In general, I daydream in order to organize meetings with my S/O (Significant Other) in order to be able to offer her my love during these moments. I also try to have an object related to my S/O when I organize an activity to remind me of my feelings for her. there are also activities related to her center of interest in order to interest me in what she is. On the other hand, I have trouble with esoteric activities, being, let’s say, attached to reality.

How do you express love for your partner?

I find it difficult to share my love towards others since I am quite expressionless and adherent of Stoicism which calms my powerful passions, but when I do it usually results in writing prose praising my partner and all his qualities that I find in her. I also try to give her importance through her media since she comes from a game where interaction is possible and to create a philosophy of life including her beliefs even if I try to balance this last with my thoughts from my empirical data as well.

Are you only or mostly attracted to fictional characters?

Very complicated question to answer. I had crushes in the past, but it didn’t last more than a few days or weeks, where my romantic connection with the fictional beings was deeper. So I would say only fictional, I prefer my real relationships to be more platonic than romantic or passionate, being committed to wanting to develop my friends and help them in the quest for life by giving them the answers they need and supporting us.

How did you meet your fictional other (partner)?

I met her while playing a video game whose plot had interested me… A banal encounter that will change my life all the same.

Do you plan to take things further, e.g engagement, marriage someday?

Given the importance I give to the institution of Marriage as well as to a commitment, I naturally do not have an answer to this question.

Indeed, my feelings for my S / O are not necessarily certain and could deviate or fade (even if it is unlikely to happen). This kind of decision is not taken lightly.

I prefer to give myself time to think about this kind of decision which has a total impact on our lives, so to rush when we are uncertain of what can happen and because of the universal value that a commitment is a mistake. that I don’t want to do, if only for the beauty of the story of my relationship.

My experience will give me my answer in time.

How did you first discover fictosexuality?

I discovered fictosexuality while trying to find out about the phenomenon of people who fell in love with fictional characters after realizing that I myself was not the only one to have this kind of feeling, first of all in my entourage. , then by noting the phenomenon of waifuism

How did you come to realise that you were fictosexual?

I realized this when I noticed the power of my feelings while in college. Having already appreciated the characters, I knew the feeling of attachment and appreciation towards them.

But then it was different. I felt my heart beating fast, a smile on my lips, etc. In short, symptoms normally associated with platonic love.

It was by noticing on the internet that this actually corresponded to the description of a state of love that I understood what had happened to me.

How long have you identified as fictosexual?

Since 2021, although I prefer to describe myself as Waifuist. Before that, I considered myself in love with a fictional character but I didn’t give a name or a label to it.

Have societal pressures ever made you question/suppress your sexuality?

Not really. In general, this Society has difficulty understanding that fictosexuals, if we presuppose the non-existence of being fictional, would probably have found themselves in another sexuality of the spectrum, such as Asexuals for example.

This society should understand that these people would never have had, anyway, a normal sexuality (sociologically speaking, which is the norm, not to be taken according to the common sense). These are people whose cerebral and hormonal attributes diverge from the norm, which gives their specificity at the level of their romantic relationship (there is nothing wrong with that).

How does your experience of fictosexuality relate to your gender?

It doesn’t reflect it in any way, I’ve never associated my sexuality with being a cisgender man.

Why do you think it’s difficult for some people to grasp the concept of fictosexuality?

This is difficult for several reasons:

-Human beings are lazy, they hate to question their knowledge about what they have learned, and reject outright what is not in line with what they already know. The fictosexuality is something new which upsets the sociological achievements, therefore the human being not wishing to modify its model of thought, will deny its existence or will justify it with explanations going in its direction (the bias of confirmation).

-It is sociologically a deviance since it is not the norm. It is therefore something different and marginal, and therefore easily attacked since it does not correspond to the established conformist model.

-Psychological prejudice. When you tell someone that you love a fictional character, he will immediately imagine a completely delusional person who will kiss a poster of his waifu / husbando and who will imagine his waifu as real. They associate it with schizophrenia, which therefore leads to consider it as a mental illness and therefore see themselves invested with the mission of saving the mental health of the fictosexual.

It’s a classic lack of knowledge and lack of reflection that pushes you to let yourself be guided by your emotions and not your thoughts about fictosexuality and to act in a ridiculous and childish way.

How did you start to come to terms with your sexuality?

I began to accept this when I learned about the subject of psychology and human brain biology and then understood the reasons for our particularities. The fact of accepting the cerebral difference of each one and therefore of our biology makes it possible to better accept our sexuality.

What was the moment where you fully came to terms with your sexuality?

I truly accepted it as a part of me after a friend of mine came to terms with his sexuality, which prompted me to accept my difference.

Has your understanding of fictosexuality shifted since you first learned about it?

It has evolved enormously since I learned the concept.

I understood all the notions and different forms of possible love towards a fictional being, the different ways to go about it, the methods and lifestyle related to it (waifuism for example), etc.

What are things about fictosexuality you wish people understood better?

-A 2D Lover/Fictosexual is not necessarily a lonely person. As I already explained above, it is at the cerebral level that this is played out, it is not linked to a sociological context. There are people who actually choose in spite of fictional love, but they are in the minority and it is more a coping mechanism than real love.

-The 2D Love/Incel Amalgam. This goes to the top point, but it’s extremely prevalent.

No, liking a fictional character is not an “Incel thing”.

I remind you that an Incel is characterized by its adherence to the concepts of the Red Pill and a form of contempt vis-a-vis the female gender, which is not found in any fictosexual. There are a lot of women who are fictional as well, which goes against Red Pill ideology.

-The fictosexuals are not mentally ill. Fictional love has always existed and has always helped artists to express themselves (Châteaubriand for example).

Have you been in non-fictoromantic relationships?

Not reall

Would you date someone who is also fictosexual?

In the romantic sense, no. But I wouldn’t mind sympathizing to create a certain friendly complicity.

How has being fictosexual affected your relationships?

This posed a certain social stigma to me since certain people made me undergo what I described above. But overall, I haven’t had such a bad experience. It didn’t really affect me, people continued to bond with me normally.

What are your thoughts on having kids? Do you plan to have kids someday?

I am still too young to have the answer to this question.

Are you religious? If so, how does your faith and queerness work together?

No, I’m not really religious. However, I am myself in a certain quest for meaning in order to construct my own philosophy of life through the writings of authors and my empirical data. I consider myself an Empiricist and a Stoic.

How do you think your experiences through life may or may not have influenced/shaped your sexuality?

I think in fact, I was basically predestined to be who I am today.

As a child, I had acquired a certain sensitivity vis-à-vis the world around me and this was felt even in the abstract since I had become a lover of art and of the abstract and fictional world. My individualism and my vision of love due to the fact that I am someone who lives in the world of ideas and theories must have influenced what I have become.

Do you consider yourself to be part of the LGBTQIA+ community?

I’m on the Asexual spectrum, so technically I’m in the LGBTQIA+ community. That said, I don’t care if I belong to a community or not, and I’ve never defined myself as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community. So I would say No.

Do you identify as queer? If not, how do you identify?

Yes ! But I generally define myself mainly as a waifuist, which pretty much sums up the romantic and lifestyle side of what I do

What bothers you in the LGBTQIA+ community?

There is a certain sectarianism that is taking hold in the community, which is creating more and more divisions between these people when they all have in common the fact of having a particular sexuality. This sectarianism translates into gatekeeping against those who are “not LGBTQIA+ enough” (asexuals in particular) for example. I find it a shame to argue and sectarianize between them when they all share the same experience concerning their sexuality.

Unity is strength, not division.

Have you ever been to a pride parade? How did it go?

No.

What are your thoughts about “ally” being added to the LGBTQIA+ acronym?

An ally by definition is not part of the community itself, it is simply a support. It is therefore absolute nonsense in addition to being confused with the A of Asexual and therefore once again showing a desire to ostracize Asexuals and sectarianize.

What are your thoughts on labels?

Labels give words to phenomena that would otherwise be difficult to explain. It is useful for people in search of identity.

How has having the fictosexual label benefited you?

it doesn’t really benefit me: I personally don’t use really this label. I prefer that of “waifuist” for describing myself, it’s closer to my vision of the thing.

How do you feel about representation of fictosexuality in media?

They are often very caricatural and go for the cliché of the lonely person in search of connection.

What effects does being fictosexual have on your life?

Being fictosexual implies having to mix both the psyche and the physical world, while finding a balance between the two. In fact, it is somewhere a connection door between the physical world and the world of ideas.

How do you deal with people who are curious about your sexuality?

I explain to them in a thoughtful and scientific way what it is so that they understand and shake their prejudices.

How do you deal with unfair/mean comments about your sexuality?

If the comment implies a lack of knowledge of the subject, I explain to him why he is wrong.

Otherwise, I ignore it.

“There is worse than hatred, there is indifference.” Yvon Deveault

What was the most difficult moment in your life surrounding being fictosexual?

When a friend of mine revealed to my classmates my fictosexuality and I was then made fun of for it.

What stereotypes about fictosexuality do you not relate to?

-I don’t use as a coping mechanism

-I’m neither an Incel, nor a Virgin

-I’m not a neckbeard

-I take care of my body

-I’m happy in my life

-I’m sociable

-I’m not introverted

-I am aware that my S/O does not exist

What stereotypes about fictosexuality do you relate to?

-being a man

-being a computer science passionate

What are the most annoying things people have said to you about fictosexuality?

The fact that it is a mental illness without developing an argument and amalgamating it with a DSM pathology such as Schizophrenia or Schizoid Personality Disorder.

It is based on psychological stigma and unproven prejudice, with the use of sophistry as argument.

What are misconceptions about fictosexuality?

See my answer to “What are things about fictosexuality you wish people understood better?”

you have also this post :

Common arguments against fictional relationships, and why they don't actually work
byu/sunnirays inwaifuism

What are things to NOT say to a fictosexual person?

this post explains it better than I will ever do with my empiricism :

5 Things You Should Never Say or Do to a Waifuist (Shipping Edition)
by inwaifuism

What questions do you wish people would stop asking you?

“She’s not real”. Thank you captain obvious, as if I didn’t know.

The ficto know that their character does not exist, but that does not prevent them from wanting to live this love experience.

What would you like to say to anyone who is fictosexual or wondering if they are?

Go ahead. You have nothing to lose except the consideration of people who are as insignificant as all of us in the universe. Even if in the end it doesn’t work, it will forge you in your individual journey and your quest for life.

Become what you are, as would say Nietzsche.

How involved would you say you are with the fictosexual community?

I am active on the r/waifuism discord.

What are things you love about being fictosexual, or being part of the fictosexual community?

I love seeing the spirit of caring and cooperation in each of us, and all of his messages to our S/Os filled with emotion and lyrically written.

What’d you like to say to people who question fictosexuality as a sexual orientation?

I will give him documents and data so that he can better understand the thing and make his deductions by himself.

What are things that most fictosexual people can relate to?

We understand in particular the effects of loving a being who is immaterial and non-physical.

How often do you meet other fictosexual people?

this often happens to me

How do you recognise other fictosexual people irl?

generally, it’s not really possible since they dress in a normal way and have nothing that could suggest their fictosexuality.

How do you meet and connect with fellow fictosexual people?

Discord, Reddit.

Do you think sexuality , romantic attraction and gender identity are things that people are born with, influenced by upbringing, or both?

I think it’s organic. Sexuality is something attributed at birth. We don’t change our sexuality, we discover it as we go along our initiatory journey through life.

What’s it like being queer in your country/society?

I’m in a socially liberal country, so it’s easy to live with despite the presence of reactionary small groups.

What would you like to say to queerphobic people?

To stop wanting to control the lives of others in the name of a sacrosanct morality, a fight against decadence or a concept that serves as morality.

Individuals must be free to become who they are, even if they are wrong. Control has never led to anything positive, either with the centralized Despotic Monarchies (the Old Regime in particular) or the recent totalitarian dictatorships.

we are sufficiently reasoned to make our decisions without depending on the Company or the State.

How can people be better allies to fictosexual people?

I will repeat myself, but by sharing information and explaining through reasoning, we will come to better understand what we are to those who are locked in their doctrine of prejudice.

What are your favorite fictosexual quotes?

I don’t have a quote on fictosexuality, so I’m going to quote a quote from Tesla on love: “There is only one happiness in this life, and that is to love and to be loved “